Doesn't anyone think Tor and I2P are a great pairing?

Doesn't anyone think Tor is like an outgoing and lively high school student, and I2P is like an introverted but emotionally stable and resilient high school girl? Their relationship is clearly a sweet high school romance story. Tor and I2P often flirt, with Tor saying things like, "You're introverted," and I2P saying, "Tor's energetic," and they tease each other—it's so sweet! Tor has a huge network of friends, but what he loves most is flirting with I2P every day, looking into each other's eyes and saying things like, "Baby, how many times did your router crash today?" or "How many null pointer and memory leak issues did your developer write for you today?" Then he'd give I2P a princess carry and say, "I'll be with you until all your nodes disappear."

(Freenet is their notebook, recording their love story. Tor's friends Monero and BTC are jealous of Tor and I2P being together, while their own relationships with I2P are still immature.)